i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
