Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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