Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
