where does the pee come out of this thing
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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