Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
