y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize