She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
