never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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