he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
