You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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