Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I want a musical about memes.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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