when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
