The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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