Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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