Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Randomize
