Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
