So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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