This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
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