from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
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