It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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