Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
