I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
