he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
