I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
