careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize
