i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
