kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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