Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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