he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Randomize
