she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
