About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Randomize
