But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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