i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
