I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Randomize
