so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
