Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
