i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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