so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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