More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
