remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Its about making memories worth repressing
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
