you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
We just shotgunned beers for America
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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