i permit you to call me
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
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