$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
