I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
