It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
