her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
