She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Randomize
