haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
