I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
