I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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