i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
