guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
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