how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
