okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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