I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
