my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Randomize
