Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Randomize
