I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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