i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
