Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
My vagina just recognized that song.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
