I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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