In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize
