their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
