Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
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