He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
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