do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
