I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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