At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
