p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Randomize
