Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
